This blog is not meant to be taken seriously and I’m definitely not to trying to dis anyone. These are the funny things I do on Instagram and what I actually think about when I post. Here we go!
You know, not everything that we see on the internet is real. Well, they actually are, but, it’s not as organic as they are supposed to be. People tell me that I always travel, go out, eat these amazing food and etc. I would want to be me too, that @krizplata we see on Instagram. But the truth is, those are just snippets of my life that I chose to share.
Most of my days are spent on things that are not as exciting as what I post. I wouldn’t post a photo of myself doing my chores, feeding my dogs, being sick and all that stuff. Why would I? That’s not very instagreat to see on my feed.
Top 8 Truths About Instagram According To Me:
- #FLATLAY Food Photo
Wow! Such a good photo, right? And it looks enticing. Are you ready to eat?
Nope YOU CANNOT EAT! Behind every #FLATLAY food photo is a bunch of Millennials competing for a great Instagram photo. And you’re not allowed to eat until they say so.
2. THOSE DAMN COLLAGES
Some of my friends know how I feel about collages and they know how much I hate it. Please don’t get offended! This is something that I wouldn’t want to see on MY own Instagram page. If you do like it, that’s you. You do you and I do me!
I used to have a thing for collages too, you know. I loved it, but, those white borders just irks me now. As much as I love these photographs of me and Oreo, I chose to leave that in 2012 where it belongs. In the past.
3. PRIME TIME FOR LIKES
A friend once asked, is 2:00 PM a good time to post? OH HELL NO. Well, unless you’re someone really popular then this “prime time”thing won’t matter. But for us minor Instagrammers, we need to know when exactly to upload.
Time is the key here, my friend. Think about the people who are scrolling their feed at this very moment. For example, it’s 11:05 PM as I type this blog and if I post a photo now, I wouldn’t get the number of likes I would normally get in the afternoon. People are asleep! Jeez.
Sundays are the best! Especially before bed time. People are busy staring at their phones, scrolling their sorrows away because Monday is coming. And believe me, they will double tap your photo. People are very emotional and extra nice.
It’s a no no on a Friday night! Why? People are happy and they don’t care about social media for once. It’s party time and no one will notice your post or maybe they’re too tipsy to like.
I told my friends, “I feel like I have nothing going on with my life to notice these things.” I’m glad that they feel the same way and I’m not the only one. *whew*
4. VSCOCAM Magic
I love VSCO! It’s a ground breaking app! Well, at least for me. Tons of filters to choose from, sharpness adjustment, saturation control and all that jazz. How can you not love it?
Plus, putting #VSCO on your photo will get so much likes. Yes, the people who explore this hashtag share the same taste as you. I myself like to search VSCO tags to get inspiration for my next posts. AKA stealing someone else’s idea.
I was one of those annoying people who put TONS, I mean TONS, of unnecessary hashtags to get likes. I would love to go through my old posts to edit and delete the hashtags but I’ll keep it that way. It’ll remind me of how far I’ve come in my artistic journey on Instagram. (OH PLEASE)
I learned that if people don’t like it, they just don’t like it. Now I only choose the photos I know my audience will like. Audience? What am I, a celebrity? Haha. But, you know what I mean. A nicely edited photo and a funny caption will surely be a hit.
6. The Real Instagram Video
Sometimes I ask myself, “Do I want to InstaVideo my life today?” I’m not sure if I wanted to enjoy my real life or if I wanted video clips to edit at night. But, whatever the reason is, it takes a tad effort to make one. It doesn’t really bother me though, I like editing videos!
A couple of weeks ago, I was on a roll in editing my GoPro videos from my trips last year. And believe me, there are tons of awkward videos of me that didn’t make it to the final cut.
Here’s an example.
What I post on Instagram:
What I did not post on Instagram:
No background music and fancy color adjustments just awkwardness.
7. HUMBLE BRAG
I hope I don’t come off as spoiled rotten because I’m not. I work hard for everything that I do and have right now. These are things that my friends and I find funny and aren’t meant to be taken seriously.
We work very, very hard and sometimes we just can’t help it. We’re so #BLESSED!
If you really want me to be honest, I can tell you now. On our way to my Aunt’s, I asked my dad to drive me to West Hollywood so I can take photographs of the perfectly trimmed palm trees. And Palm Springs? My relatives and I just went there to see the snow and headed to lunch after.
If you don’t like posts like these, you can tell that to the 50+ people who liked them. 😉
8. How I Like Photos on Instagram
I follow all of my friends on Instagram and I like that. I see what’s going on with their lives and I’m happy that they’re doing just fine.
Here are the reasons why I double tap a picture:
- IT’S A DOG
- You’re my friend and your pictures are great!
- You’re my friend even though your pictures aren’t that great
- Your posts are witty
- *double tap* Hey, it’s been a while! We’re still friends, right??
- I SEE YOUR PET, LET ME PET IT *GAZILLION TAPS*
- IT’S A DOG
I should end this blog now, it’s getting really late. But you know what, post whatever you want to post! It’s your life and you’re allowed to share whatever your heart desires. Whether it’s an ugly photo or an artistic one, just do it! It’s art. 🙂
Of course not everything that I post is meant for joking. The photographs that I take with my film cameras are the ones that I care about the most. 🙂
Follow my Instagram for more GoPro and 35mm film adventures.
Check out my other blog entries here. Just click my avatar at the upper left most screen!